There are many adoption blogs that I read, have for a while. I don’t openly follow them, but I’ll check in from time to time – to read about what has been going on in their families.
For me, it’s not really “weird” to follow adoption blogs. The topic has always been interesting to me – and it continues to be. I look at these blogs in a similar way to others, I assume.
It’s not tempting to scam again when I look at adoption blogs, it’s not an option. My addiction was never to hurting people or to adoption specifically, it was always about getting my emotional needs met. And adoption somehow fit into that. The danger for me is instead in feeling lousy. But now, I know how to handle my emotions properly. I know the healthy way to take care of myself, instead of jumping online to email a family.
I’ve noticed that I can usually tell within a few moments if something isn’t right on these adoption blogs. More often than not, I’m right about the person not being real or having poor intentions. I don’t tell the blogger because that would be awkward. “Hello, I’m an adoption scammer in recovery and I recognize that the person you’re speaking with is likely one also and I just wanted to let you know.” THAT couldn’t happen.
Perhaps one day in the future, things will be different. I don’t know how or in which form it might take place, but I do hope to help others that are a part of adoption. A scammer can recognize another scammer in a completely different way than others can – just as an alcoholic can recognize other alcoholics. The signs are clear … sometimes because of something simple.
I think it’s important to remember that scamming is like any other addiction and people can recover from it. We won’t always be this way, we won’t always continue doing what we’ve done. But in order to overcome that addiction, we do need help – and that help is the most important part of it all.
