labeling me

I’ve had people label me several times throughout my life – it was never easy. The hardest must have been what they referred to me as I went through court – what they label me now.

It was hard for several reasons – I never felt that I was the person they were describing. Parts were similar, but the ‘icky’ person they talked to each other about, wasn’t how I saw myself. They made comments of people ‘like me’ not having a heart, not having feelings and not caring or understanding.

All I could come out with was … they’re all wrong. They didn’t understand my side just as much as I didn’t understand theirs. At the time, I didn’t understand my side either though. It took me a long time to realize why I hurt the people I did.

What I did was not for ‘kicks’ … I had reasons – my own reasons. They are reasons that no one on the other side would ever understand if they hadn’t traveled the same path. It never makes it right or okay, but for me, I feel it is worth trying to understand.

What they’ve labeled me, I am not … because the reasons don’t match up.

I have worked hard to get where I am – harder than I have ever had to work before. I am still learning.

I am strong. I am courageous. I am a survivor. I am healing. I am proud of who I am at this point.